by Randy Brooks
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| Intro |
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| She'd been drinking too much egg | nog, |
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| and we begged her not to | go |
| D | |
| but she forgot her medic | ation, and she |
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| staggered out the door into the | snow. |
| F#m | C#m |
| When we found her Christmas | morning, |
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| At the scene of the at | tack, |
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| she had hoof-prints on her | forehead, and |
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| i | ncriminating Claw marks on her b | ack |
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| Now we're all so proud of grandpa |
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| He's been taking this so well |
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| See him in there watching football |
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| drinking | beer and playing cards with Cousin M | el |
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| It's not Christmas without | Grandma |
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| All the family's dressed in | black |
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| and we just can't help but | wonder |
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| Should we o | pen up her gifts or send them b | ack | SEND THEM BACK!) |
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| Now the goose is on the | table |
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| and the pudding made of | fig |
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| and the blue and silver | candles |
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| that would j | ust have matched the hair on grandma's w | ig |
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| I've warned all my friends and | neighbors |
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| better watch out for yours | elves |
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| they should never give a | license |
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| to a m | an who drives a sleigh and plays with e | lves. |
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